Relax, Goddammit!
Five Non-Verbal Body Language Hacks To Make You Look ‘Happy High Status’
Following on from how to control your stage fright, as discussed last time, now to explore the subject of body language. As explored in Do You Get Stage Fright?*, whether you’re a pro who loves speeching or you want the floor to swallow you up even when you know your subject matter inside out, you’ll enjoy the same symptoms: thumping heart, sweaty palms, shortness of breath and trembling body. These reactions are nothing to be ashamed of and they don’t necessarily mean that you are super-nervous. What they do signal, however, is that you might be nervous, which is just as damaging to the audience’s sense of confidence in you.
So, having given you some tips previously on how to alleviate those symptoms of stress, here’s some tips on how to be presenting outwardly as confident and relaxed. Because when speaking in public, positive body language is paramount. As Jerry Seinfeld says in his 1998 show: I’m Telling You For The Last Time: “I saw a study that said that speaking in front of a crowd is the number one fear of the average American. Number two is death! This means that to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy.”
Since there can a big gap between how you might feel (nervous) and how you should look (confident), here’s four ways you can work on your non-verbal body language to put everyone in the room at ease. You can’t always hide your micro-gestures but you can work on the more obvious ‘tells’ and, in the process, control those negative body-language habits so they don’t make you look bad when you just want to look good.
- Go Wide
It’s human nature to want to ‘protect’ yourself in a scary situation and the easiest way we do this is to fold or cross our arms across our chest. You might unconsciously mask this as a ‘thinky’ pose (by putting your hand on your chin), or an ‘imposing’ stance (by widening your shoulders) but either way, it’s a turn-off for others. When you relax and open up your arms you send an embrace to your audience and they feel included rather than shut out. Open palms suggest honesty, so practise by consciously pointing your hands towards the audience members furthest to both your left and your right in front of you, like you’re demonstrating the size of a fish you just caught. Congratulations! - Smiley Face
If you can put yourself in a happy mood and try to share it with the room, this goes a long way to making everyone relax. Remember, though, it isn’t the same as simply baring your teeth. Fake it till it’s true because when you don’t commit to a true smile, it looks like ritual behaviour suggesting you want to defend yourself or attack another. In fact, you might have to practise smiling publicly so that it doesn’t look strained. But once you’ve nailed it, a relaxed smile goes a long way to putting people at ease — and you’ll probably find they naturally want to smile back. Win-win. - (Don’t) Face Your Fears
Face-touching is a classic signal that you’re nervous; sadly, such a gesture won’t instil confidence in an audience, who will immediately worry for you that you aren’t in charge of the situation. This non-verbal gesture actually presents oneself as low status: a classic result of feeling shy or nervous. So even if you’re all anxious inside, try to come across as (classic improvisation term) ‘happy high status’ and keep your hands away from your face. You can practise by talking to yourself in the mirror. When you touch on edgy subjects, do you find your hands move upwards? Maybe plant them in your pockets until you are used to controlling this textbook reaction to feeling exposed. - Look Into My Eyes
Finally, try to maintain unwavering eye contact. Eyes that flick round a space signal fear, while eyes that make contact for a second and then glance away signal low status. Sure, enjoying looking into your audience’s eyes as you speak to them is the goal. But even if you just hold a steady gaze around the room, you’ll command a lot more confidence both for yourself and for your audience. It’s really worth practising this non-verbal giveaway because when your eyes flick from subject to subject and you blink rapidly, you reveal that you’re shy, nervous, underprepared — or all three!
Congratulations: if you succeed in having a conversation or presenting to a group while practising these four body language tips, you’ll come across as a ton more confident — and immediately put your audience at ease, too. Happy presenting!
Victoria Hogg is an Applied Theatre and Improvisation Practitioner based in London. Click here for her courses. For improv-for-business consultancy through The Offer Bank, click here.
